Gone to his Heavenly home

My father passed away yesterday night, 10.30pm after a 2 weeks battle for recovery from his stroke attack. We are thankful that God has been merciful to my father and rather than prolonging his suffering, has chosen to take him home to be with Him.

The wake would be held tonight at 8.30pm at the PJ Casket and Crematorium in Kampung Tunku, PJ. The cremation and funeral would be tomorrow at 11.30am.

With love and regards,

Philip

In Critical Condition

My father was warded again yesterday. He's condition has deteriorated all of a sudden and is now on life support. Its a painful time for all of us. He's breathing heavily and is slipping in and out of consciousness. I don't know whether he'll pull out of this alive. Half of me wants him to recover and half of me wishes for him to go... I don't want to see him suffer anymore, it hurts when you see someone you love very much have to go through pain and suffering in their last moments. It is not the way I want to see my father die. Unlike the West, euthanasia is definitely out of the question here where I stay. No chance for my father to go with the dignity a man like him fully deserves.

All I can do now is to pray that God will just ease his suffering and take him home soon. No point for him to recover and go through yet another suffering. My family has come to accept this for sometime now, so it wasn't exactly a shock. Pls continue to keep praying for him and my family. We certainly need the strength and will to go through this pain we are all feeling right now.

Thank you all.

The Power of Experience

How do one begin to define the word 'experience'?

I spent the whole day mulling about this, thanks to a lecturer of mine who set us tasks to do even BEFORE we had our first meeting! Certainly, this lecturer is not to be messed with and always one to make a good first impression, I set about interpreting my own meaning of the word 'experience' and also with the help of the Web's most reliable source of information: Wikipedia.

From the way I see it, 'experience' is concept that we cannot live without nor can we avoid it. Everything we do, is a result of some form of experience, right? I don't know who said it before but I remembered someone quoted as saying that "Experience is the greatest teacher". And I wholly agree with that notion.

Based on Wikipedia, the concept of Experience is made up of having knowledge of or skill in or observation of some thing or some event gained through involvement or exposure to that thing or event. In layman terms, experience is simply knowledge/skill/understanding that was gained by a person through participation of an event or a thing. Experience = knowledge.

Once I understood this, I came to two conclusions: 1) Metaphorically speaking, experience is like many pieces of Lego that when added or joined together, it becomes a complete picture or thing. We build knowledge through our experiences in dealing with people, with life and with issues. There is no absolute knowledge - each experience shapes a different knowledge, either improving on a previous knowledge or substituting an old knowledge or gaining new knowledge. Am I making sense here? All these thoughts are really giving me a bad, bad migraine!

2) Experience guides us. There is no doubt about it. We learn from experience everyday. The process of acquiring experience is a non-stop, ever-going and lifelong process. The more we repeat an action, the more we become experienced in that action that we become an expert in that action. However, this is different from reptitions. We don't gain any new knowledge by merely repeating something we've already experienced. An 'experience' is called 'experience' when we gained new knowledge.

For example, today, I tried another attempt at side-parking, which I really hated because I am not good at it. However, by watching how mom does it, I gained a bit of experience from seeing how my mom did it and when I actually tried side-parking, it was not perfect, but I did managed it without scratching the car. What I had is another experience in side-parking. But does that make me an expert of side-parking? No! Once I relive the experience and continue to perform side-parking til I am confident in side-parking do I finally become an expert in side-parking. Similarly, having dabbled in Microsoft Word for years now, I cannot fully say that I am an expert in it, although I am an experienced user because sometimes I discover that I can do something new with Microsoft Word. That becomes another new experience in dealing with Microsoft Word.

It is no wonder that children learns best when it comes to learning through experience. Children, with their natural curiosity, are always eager to try, to do, to practice and be directly involved in new things, new experiences. This is the basis for the old proverb "Give a child a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach the child to fish, and you feed him the rest of his day." Show the child how to fish and he can fish for himself. Show the child how to tie his shoelaces and he can tie them himself. Show the child what happens when you play with fire and they will understand not to play with fire. Children have a great capacity to remember things that they learn and experience because their brains are like sponges, constantly absorbing knowledge and storing them away, ready to be recalled and pieced together to form a completed jigsaw puzzle.

Because of the child's great capacity to remember things and learn things quickly, I cannot help but stress on the importance of teaching children the RIGHT things and protect them from things that will do them more harm than good. It is usually the result of tragic experiences in a child's life that resulted in them having to grow up into killers, rapists, abusers and psychos. A child's mind is a fragile, precious thing. All the more important for us to protect them from the unsrupulous, evil people who seek to twist and pervert the children's minds by exposing them to the foulest acts imaginable. Don't you agree that children who grew up watching their fathers beat up mothers would think that it is okay to beat up women? Don't you think a racist is born when a child sees his father or mother treat a person of another race with contempt and disgust?

So, dear readers, do you now see the power of experience? Experience is the key to controlling a person. It's the most potent weapon, and in the right hands, experience brings forth fruit, but in the wrong hands - experience brings forth tragedy.

Now, I wonder how my lecturer would react if I spent the whole hour in class repeating what I've just typed all of the above? Now, THAT will be an experience she'll never forget! Unfortunately, I will not be taking her subject as I have decided to take another and leave this subject for next semester. Guess i'll just save this for next time. ^_^

One of the best Golden Globes

Though I rarely saw some of the past years' Golden Globes due to missing out on the live telecasts and the shortened repeated versions were not really as fun as watching it live as you would probably got or heard the results from someone by the time you watched the repeated ones. So, in conclusion, I definitely felt immensely satisfied with this year's show. A totally enjoyable three hours of my Tuesday morning well spent!

But getting to watch a live telecast awards show in its entirety is not the only thing that got me gushing about the 63rd Annual Golden Globes Awards. It's nothing short of surprises, many memorable acceptance speeches and most of all, for the first time, I actually felt happy about the winners, all of whom I thought to fully deserved their awards handed out by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Ang Lee chalked up a memorable night for Asians, with his Brokeback Mountain bagging four awards - Best Director, Best Motion Picture Drama, Best Screenplay for Motion Picture & Best Original Song for a Motion Picture .

Who would've thought that some day, a Taiwanese director would win the Best Director award for an English movie - and one that is about a pair of gay cowboys of all subjects! It's priceless! I cannot help but applaud Mr Lee for his immense contribution to raising the profile of Asians in Hollywood and it might just pave the way for others to emulate him. Who knows? Maybe Wong Kar Wai and Stephen Chow might direct an award-winning English movie too!

Another surprise win for Asians would be Korean-American actress Sandra Oh's unexpected Best Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini Series or Made for Television Movie win over the likes of Candice Bergen, Camryn Manheim, Elizabeth Perkins and Joanne Woodward. If anyone had seen Grey's Anatomy one would feel hard pressed not to award Oh for her performance in the show as an ambitious medical intern who intends to become the best surgeon. Even Oh herself was shocked by her win, judging by her reaction when her name was announced. She was stunned to the point that she seemed to have lost her sense of direction as she made her way to the stage. And her stuttering accpetance speech was priceless enough to make you feel like you wanna hug her and calm her nerves and excitement over the win.

If you wanna talk about upset wins, look no further than Mary-Louise Parker's upset win over FOUR Desperate Housewives actresses for the coveted Best Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy. Many have expected either Marcia Cross, Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman and Teru Hatcher to bag the award by it was obvious that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association saw something that delighted them and gave Parker, the underdog, for her performances as a weed-peddling mother in the series Weeds, which would probably not be shown in our Malaysian shores because of it's drug content.

Nevertheless, if there's one Desperate Housewife who is not feeling the blues over the loss, it has to be Felicity Huffman, who affirmed her reputation as a character actress and defintely her chances for an Oscar come March for her Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama win for playing a transsexual in the groundbreaking, controversial indie feature Transamerica.

Philip Seymour Hoffman's win for playing famous author Truman Capote in Capote was another unexpected win in the Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama category. David Straitharn was the frontrunner for his performance as the courageous broadcast journalist Edward R. Murrow who dared to oppose infamous communist hunter Senator Joseph McCarthy in Good Night, and Good Luck and also Heath Ledger for his part as one half of the gay cowboys in Brokeback Mountain. Hoffman would certainly be pleased to know that the win has put him in the lead for coveted Best Actor trophy at the Oscars.

But it won't be easy as he has a formidable opponent in the frame of Joaquin Phoenix, who bagged the Best Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy award for a moving portrayal of late country crooner Johnny Cash in Walk the Line. Reese Witherspoon also won the Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy for her protrayal of the faithful and loving June Carter Cash in Walk the Line.

So then what would the Oscars throw up for us come March? Will Brokeback Mountain continue its winning streak or will James Mangold's Walk the Line pip the film to the Best Picture honours at the Oscars? All said and done, this years awards season has certainly been one of the most exciting and unpredictable one in many, many years. It was certainly refreshing to see so many new talents getting recognised for their efforts in Hollywood cinema rather than your usual group of A-list performers such as Tom Hanks, Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep, Renee Zellwegger, Naomi Watts and Julia Roberts.

With that being said, allow me the opportunity to thank the winners Huffman, Hoffman, Phoenix, Witherspoon, Rachel Weisz (for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama), George Clooney (Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama) and also the rest of the nominees such as Straitharn, Ledger, Keira Knightley, Judi Dench, Bob Hoskins, Pierce Brosnan, Jeff Daniels and Terrence Howard for lighting up a truly magnificent year for American cinema.

For the full list of the winners of the 63rd Annual Golden Globes Awards, go here:
The Winners

An Uncle Again... and a fresh perspective on my parents

Yet another good news to liven and lighten the mood in our family.

My third sister has given birth to her 2nd child, a healthy, cherubic baby boy. Name not known at this time but I'll be sure to put it up here once I know. She's currently doing well in Perth.

I am really happy to be an Uncle once more. I can't wait to have children of my own some time in the future, but until the right one comes along, I'm more than happy enough to be an Uncle to my nephews and nieces. They are all so adorable and good-looking kids. Well behaved and well-mannered too. My sisters are such good mothers! Hope to have a wife like them and most of all, someone like my mother.

I have not know how deeply my mother loved my father until recently. Despite the hardship she is going through, she is always standing by her man, never letting go and always treating him with the same respect and honour that she gives to every one. The care and love that my mother showed to my dad in caring for him is so incredible that I am shamed to admit that I had loathed my father. But that's another story which I will not share here. May be next time.

I now look at my parents from a whole different perspective. They certainly remind of the elderly couple in Yasmin Ahmad's Rabun. Her story of two loving, elderly Malay couple nearly mirrors that of my mom and dad. And for that, I now have much respect and honour for both my parents. My mom for her loyalty and devotion. And my dad for his integrity and honesty.

A son like me could not have asked for better parents than these.

Mom, Dad.... I LOVE YOU BOTH!

And to my sis, hope you could send us pics of the new born soon!! ^_^

Straight A's for the 2nd time

In what has been a dark, tempestous week for me, it was certainly encouraging to know that I have managed to achieve straight A's in my 2nd semester final exams, a repeat performance of my first semester result. So, that means I managed to stay on the Dean's list, with a CGPA of 3.94.

Okay... so I felt a bit modest in saying it. Guess 'encouraging' doesn't quite sum up my feeling.

I am downright ECSTATIC - DELIGHTED - OVERJOYED!!

To be honest, I had spent the whole of the holidays in a bit of a worried mood because I wondered how I had fared in the exams. I was worried that I didn't write or answered well to some of the questions in the exams. So, I wasn't exactly expecting to achieve straight A's this time round but when I found out I did, an overwhelming sense of relief and joy came over me, erasing the pain and exhaustion I had felt over my dad's debilitating stroke. I hope my result would at least cheered him up a bit and it certainly did a bit caused he smiled at me.

With my dad in the condition that he is now in, i resolve to put in more effort in my studies and in my work so as not to disappoint and worry him. All I ask for him is to quickly recuperate so that we can bring him home with us in a few months time.

So here's to hoping for more good news and fresh beginnings to put a terrible start behind me.

My Father had a Stroke

Hence, the lack of any updates in this past week as I have tending to my distraught mother and trying to keep my house in order.

Dad fell from his chair last Thursday in the dining room to pick up his medicine that fell on the floor and as a result, he had a concussion, which triggered the stroke. Docs at the hospital checked and confirmed that dad had suffered a mild stroke, with a little bleeding in his brain. As such, half his body is now paralysed on the right side.

So much had happened at such a short time. It's quite simply the worst ever start of a new year that I had ever had, 2nd being last year with the Asian Tsunami.

At present, he is recuperating in a nursing home, which everyone felt that it is the best solution for him and for us. There is no way my mother and I can cope with him. It is best to leave the caring and the recuperation process to the professionals. There is nothing much my mother and I can do anyways. My mom is no Xena, Warrior Princess and I have to work. The family now survives on my income and there's no way I can stay at home just to care for him.

I just like to take this time to thank everyone who has shown compassion and support to me and my family in our times of trouble. You are all truly wonderful people and we are eternally grateful for all your prayers and support.

Thank you all from the depths of my grateful heart. I love you all.

Philip

Resolutely Intent on Fulfilling Resolutions v.2006

Right, so it's that time of the year again. Before I go on, allow me the courtesy of wishing you all yet another exciting New Year.

Oh, joy!

So, what's the fun in celebrating the 'momentous' event that is the earth completing it's full orbit around the sun? That is all there is to it. It is only us ingenious humans dating back to the Ancient Roman times that came up with the novel idea of celebrating the passage of another year with feasts and exchanging of gifts. Back then, the Ancient Roman calendar only had 10 months and the New Year was celebrated on the 1st of March. From the Middle Ages, different countries in Europe and the world follow different calendars, therefore, for the different cultures around the world, there were many, many New Year's Day... depending on which culture you belong to. Fascinating isn't it?

Well, I'm not going to go into a long, boring lecture about the history and origins of the New Year. That's not the purpose on this entry. It is however, about that little tradition that comes with the New Year... the time when we resolve to make resolutions on what we want to see happen and what we want to do in the coming new year.

Yes, New's Year's resolutions!!! The tiresome, needless tradition of drafting up and making up dreams, wishes, ambitions and hopes of what we will resolutely try to achieve. For the majority of us, it'll usually end in tears and failures as we forgot all about it come February. Of course, there are those whom I will bow to for really sticking to their princinples and their resolute spirit in fulfilling their New Year Resolutions. I take my hat off to you monsters.

As much as I want to resist the temptation for coming up with a dreary piece detailing my hopes and ambitions for the year, let's just say I'm just a weak, normal mortal. With everyone drafting their resolutions and commiting them to memory, my resistance weakens and I am finally swayed into making a few teeny resolutions for myself. Whether or not I will see them through, is another matter altogether.

And so, my dear readers, the following are what I hope to resolutely achieve:

1. Most of all, holding down a permanent job for safety and security purposes instead of freelancing.

2. Come 31 December 2006, I hope that I am at least RM8,000 or so richer in my bank account. To date, it's a measly sum of RM2,700.

3. No promises but i resolutely and am determined (for now) to reply and write emails to friends and family more frequently and not lag behind and keeping everyone in the dark as to what is happening to me.

4. No guarantee as well but I do hope to suffer less mood swings and emotional breakdowns this year, unlike in 2005. I hope to be made of more sterner stuff mentally and emotionally.

5. Of course, this is fairly typical of everybody's resolutions - exercise more often and keep a healthy, fit lifestyle with minimal intake of fatty, heaty, oily foods.

6. And last, but not the least... be a more exuberant, cheerful and chatty with my friends. Learn to relax a little and smile always. I've always had this kinda serious demeanour that seems to indicate I am a prideful and sullen person (according to my aunt) which usually throws people off from making contact with me. Well, that's gonna change.

Well, there you have it. Six easy, achievable resolutions. Wish me luck and by the grace of God, I hope to see at least three of these met come 31 December 2006. So, til then, look forward to more entries on this blog for the whole of this year. Thanks for taking the time to follow me through since Feb 2005. I hope to be this blog more interesting and exciting as possible.

Take care all and have a nice day!